This week something big happened. Isla kicked her "Nummy" (her name for it) habit! It was a day that I couldn't see coming at all and it was meant to happen a year ago - Father Christmas was meant to take it in exchange for presents but it never happened, he was too busy delivering presents to stick to his guns on that threat. I remember in the early days of this blog writing about her Gummeeeee (as it was then called - it's gone through a few names changes!) and how at the age that Noah is now, she would call out in the night and we'd have to go in and replace it 5+ times). In recent times we'd whittled the dummies down from having about 8 in circulation to this one lone yellow number, that used to have a frog motif on the front. Isla would occasionally refer to the frog, saying sadly, "there's no frog here now Mummy". The number of times that we misplaced this one dummy and turned over the whole house trying to find it I couldn't count.
Dummy use was only for bed time and that had been the long standing rule for a good while. She had a dummy at nursery that she would use at nap times there, but that mysteriously got 'lost', yet she wouldn't struggle to nap there, so I felt that this was proof enough that the dummy was no longer needed - she didn't *need* it to get to sleep. I kept suggesting to her that she was a big girl and that she didn't need her nummy anymore, but with a glint in her eye she would always say "I do Mummy, I need it".
This week however the situation was taken out of my hands and Isla came to me with Nummy and told me it had a hole in! This was obviously making it a bit less effective and also from my point of view we couldn't keep using this thing with a hole in it - it would be a germ breeding ground (if it wasn't already). So I said as much to her and she looked slightly perturbed, but she didn't get really upset and whingey like she had in the past so I pressed the point that it couldn't be used and then the real clincher came when I said that if she gave up Nummy she could have a Barbie. Well that was that - Nummy was handed over and there was no argument. I couldn't quite believe it, I'd seized the opportunity and the habit was over.
AND YES I RESORTED TO BRIBERY. AND IT WORKED! I'M NOT ASHAMED!
She was pleased as punch and as luck would have it she went to bed that night without Nummy and was happy to wait until the morning for the presentation of Barbie! We had a Barbie in the cupboard which was one of her Christmas presents, it was a pretty inexpensive one and for the sake of getting rid of the Nummy it made one happy little girl and one happy mummy. I'm pleased that it's gone now as I knew that she was getting way too old for it and also I was sure that the dentist wouldn't be impressed. Although I am going to admit to feeling a small tinge of sadness as it was the final frontier of babyhood. The last thing that baby-fied her. Every evening in her pyjamas she would sit watching a bit of bedtime TV, with a cup of milk and her nummy and Sheepy and I'd hear her occasionally suck suck suck on it. Nummy has hardly been mentioned since, only to say that she's a big girl now and she doesn't need it and that the babies need it now. Go Isla!
I started maternity leave this week and I'm wondering if I've become slightly sensitive to other people's comments, pointed questions and observations about how I do things with my daughter purely because I've shed the skin of being a 9 - 5 worker and walked back into the world of being a stay at home mum? Maybe I didn't have time to listen to things that people have to say, or I had bigger things to worry about than whether I was doing what everyone else does.
What am I referring to?
It seems that now my daughter is approaching 2 years she 'should' be potty training, or even totally dry by now! This is news to me, my feeling has always been that she will show me when she feels ready for it and in the meantime I will do things to gently prompt her in that direction. We've had a basic potty in our bathroom since she was 18 months, she knows it's purpose, quite often sits on it, asks for tissue and mimics wiping herself, but it is very much a piece of role play at the moment. I feel like this is good enough and I don't want to push her but when someone mentions it in such a way that you feel like you've failed at something it can get you down.
This isn't the only thing. Isla also uses a dummy, some days quite heavily. It isn't my favourite thing of hers and I admit to feeling fed up on occasion about her having it, but when I rationalise things, she will give it up eventually and in the mean time it would be nice if again people didn't make it their business to help her rid herself of it, because as far as I'm concerned they're only raising her own awareness of it and making her more stubborn about not taking it out. Also referring to it as 'dirty dummy' etc. It's not dirty, and neither is she. It's a habit and for some of the people who say these things, they actually smoke! A habit that is definitely damaging and definitely dirty (I don't hate smokers though - please don't make something of this comment)!
I don't mean to go on, but this is my outlet for letting off steam and for a whole evening this week I felt thoroughly miserable thinking that I wasn't doing things right. Perhaps I'm being over sensitive? I'm in the last 3 weeks of pregnancy and tiredness could be distorting how I see things, but one thing I do know is that Isla is a very happy little girl (as pointed out by my best friend) and surely that is all that matters and from the many responses to my moaning on twitter, it's fair to say that there aren't many 10 year olds that walk around with dummies in their mouths, wearing nappies (thanks Northern Mum!).
My daughter is now officially obsessed with her dummy, or "Gummeeee" as she calls it. I really didn't want a child who goes about with a dummy during the daytime. Before I had kids I would see little ones in their buggies with a dummy firmly in place and I'd make a judgement that their parents wanted to shut their children up. Little did I know that babies can form such a strong attachment to their dummy that they want it all the time and unless you want to get embroiled in a tantrum it feels easier to give in and hand it over!In our house, "Gummeee" seems to be the default word if Isla can't think of any other word to say. She can be playing quite happily with "Babeeee" and then out of the blue, she quietly says "Gummeee" and then it's not forgotten until she has it, she's like a broken record, getting louder until it's in her possession. We try to hide them, but there's always one lurking somewhere that she will find - and we'll see her looking jubilant walking round the house as if to say 'nur, nur, nee, nur, nur!' and we'll look at one another wondering who was to blame for leaving a rogue dummy lying around!! During the night my hubbie and I can be blissfully asleep and through the still and quiet we're awoken to the cries of "Gummmmmmmmeeeeeee" until we go in and replace it. Some nights this doesn't happen but last night it was 3 times!!!I've tried to replace Gummee with a soft toy (Sheep) so that she has that instead but all that's happened instead is that she wants Gummee and Sheep together! Also in my enthusiasm to get her fixed on a toy I picked the one that wasn't exactly small....... In the same way that Isla has become obsessed with the dummy I have become obsessed with reading about getting rid of it. Some mums suggest cold turkey (I couldn't take the melt downs that this would create!), others waiting a while till you can explain the dummy fairy is coming to take it away and replace with a gift for them, others have snipped the dummy so that in effect it doesn't work and acted equally as baffled as the child when they show them the ineffectual mouthpiece! There is also the chat where you tell them what a big girl they are that they need to donate their dummy to the little babies in the hospital.So for the time being I've decided that I will be one of those mums that I used to look at and judge, as I've realised that sometimes the battle isn't worth it and I'm gearing up for a conversation with her when she's around 2, where I will probably resort to bribery to rid us of Gummee forever!!
